The Girl Effect

The ringing phone jolts me out of bed last night.

Hello.

Hi, Mary. It's Ameena. How are you doing? What time is it now?

A semi-annoyed smile stretches across my face. Over 7 years of crackly telephone calls, Ameena still seems to call only in the middle of the night. I'm okay. It's 3 a.m.

Wonderful, she replies. Good morning to you! Tell me, how have you been?

Ameena is a 23-year-old Sri Lankan Muslim currently living in a small village with her mother and two younger sisters. Shortly after her father's death, her brother left home and the village to be with his new family, leaving the girls and their mother to support themselves.

Ameena's remarkable mother has a modest home that she is able to keep as she now runs her husband's tire shop. This is remarkably courageous as working women, let alone business owners, in this village are rare. She goes to work each day to support her three girls, encouraging them to get an education and follow their dreams. Her two youngest are still in elementary and secondary school. Ameena, the eldest, takes the bus into Kandy each day to study IT, her passion. She dreams of traveling abroad one day.

Farzana is their cousin. Many years ago, Farzana's mother sent her to live with her aunt (Ameena's mom), where she would live with her cousins and be closer to the private English school her family was sending her to. All of the girls had remarkable linguistic skills. Farzana had dreams of becoming an English teacher.

On our last visit to Sri Lanka, Ben and I were saddened when Farzana didn't appear at the door with the others when we arrived. There were three, not four. Where had she gone?

We sat down with Ameena and she told us Farzana's story.

A few years prior, Farzana's parents decided she was going to be pulled from school to marry. They had found her a man. She was 17. Farzana had no choice in the matter and within a few months found herself out of school, married, and expecting her first child.

Ameena pulled out a picture of a dolled up Farzana in her elaborate red wedding dress. Gold bracelets adorned her wrists and neck and her makeup was heavy. But one look into her eyes and one could see that her dress wasn't representative. Her features were filled with a deep and raw sadness.

As we sat in Ameena's living room looking at this picture, I couldn't help but feel completely deflated. Farzana's life path had been drastically altered and her dreams had been taken away. Farzana was completely helpless in her situation.

Tradition determined Farzana's outcome as it does for many girls, especially in the developing world. She never had a genuine choice, and she deserves one.

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